Homesteading with my Husband
Ann:
Hi you guys, welcome back to episode two of 2021, the second season for a Simple Home City Life podcast. I have a very special guest with me today, and it’s my husband, Justin. Justin’s a pretty candid person, and I’ve asked him to just kind of like give the the short summary of it all.
This m4a audio file was automatically transcribed by Sonix with the best speech-to-text algorithms. This transcript may contain errors.
Homesteading with Your Spouse
But what we want to talk to you about is homesteading with your spouse or a partner or whatever you have going on with family members, whatever it is. And actually, it can be quite difficult, especially when one individual has more goals than the other does. But you have to remember Justin does work full time outside of the house, and what he does participate in is a lot more than what most would. For example, he does close up the barns every single night.
And then on top of that, on the weekend, he does quite a bit of work around the property with me as well. Two things that I really, truly can’t do like you. He drops trees for us. He’s clearing land for us, he’s building structures for us. And it’s a lot. It’s a lot. But let’s get started and I’m going to talk to you real quick about how we got started homesteading. Hang on. Tight.
Say Hello to Justin
So let me let you introduce you to my husband, Justin, in real quick. Hello. Ok, so Justin has been homesteading on this property for the past seven years, seven years and it has been an ongoing adventure because this property was never a homestead or a farm. It was a single-family home on two acres. And my vision was, Oh, I’m going to have a little garden. What was your what was vision? I know what it was. I’m excited to see what he has to say. What was your vision for this place?
Justin:
I just wanted space away from people.
Ann:
Yeah, we love the suburbs. And he didn’t want to be near people, so he thought he was going to buy this piece of land in the coastal side of Washington state and just not have neighbors and just live here with nothing, right? Is that what it was?
The Start of Our Homestead
Justin:
I was fine with what was it? We said seven chickens to start out. 15. Well, that’s what you brought home was 15. Seven the first day ET in the next day.
Ann:
Chicken Man, Chicken Man and then and then the garden. There was only three raised beds. I asked for that first year, right?
Justin:
Yeah. The garden is now half of what used to be our lawn.
Ann:
Yeah. So the garden has expanded, the chicken flock has expanded and over the years I kind of got zealous in and added more livestock. We add a goat next. Well, then from there, we added, what was it, ducks and other poultry, the guinea fowls and stuff like that. And then we got into geese and the Maccabees after that quail,
Justin:
Rabbits and quail. Yes.
Ann:
Yeah, rabbits and quail. And so the venture has never really stopped on it. But the demand for what needs to be done is stronger than ever. So we’ve been here, and over that course of time, you want to tell them what structures we’ve built over that course of time.
Justin:
Well, I mean, basically glorified sheds here and there. We’ve got one that used to house the rabbits and the quail, but has now been converted to a place for the goats and then another one that we moved the rabbits into, which is quite a bit larger and is still in process of being completed.
Ann:
So and we have a wood box that can hold up to 10 cords, a shed that can hold up to 10 cords, and we also have the front porch one. So over the years, we’ve added structure, he says. Glorified sheds. I love how he says that. So anyways, the glorified sheds, what he means is because they were once carports that we converted into a structure of a barn like where the goats are now.
It’s been completely enclosed with the Dutch doors, and a new door will go into the back of it and whatnot. And the rabbit barn is the other half of the RV shed, basically with the metal roof that’s structured framing and everything, metal framing and everything like that. So we had a garden shed that was actually there and it had was just a garden shed.
So we convert that into a very nice-sized chicken coop. We’ve added a live feed shed and stuff like that, which is a Rubbermade container, so as my husband says, sheds. But in truth, there are very functioning and you do what you do in that moment of time to house what you need and what you’re going to go forth with. And that’s where Justin, I disagree.
Differences Don’t Have to Causes Divides
This is where homesteading can be a little a little iffy in regards to what one partner to the other partner thinks of. Justin is a carpenter by trade. And let me just put that out there, a carpenter by trade hates to build anything that is not supreme lumber and with a plan with an organizational aspect of it and concrete flooring on it and things like that. Would you agree to that?
Justin:
Yeah, I do have a hard time just throwing things together with what we have. But I mean, the cost of doing things the way I would want to do them isn’t really feasible for how we live, so.
Ann:
And I, on the other hand, would sit there and scavenge anything that I possibly can find on Craigslist. Take it from the dump, find it on the side of the road, bring it home and say, This is what we can do with this.
This is living frugally. This is living to the point of minimizing our footprints, and this is what we can build in this moment in time. I do not have a problem with recycled materials. Know, but I can understand Justin’s point of it because he is a carpenter and he has this mindset of built to last forever. And sometimes I’m like, it didn’t work, so we’ll just do it again. And I think that’s hard for him.
I think that that is just something that he in seven years has never really embraced from me. So I still do it, but he still does it. He still does it, he complains. And we’ve had some. We finally, we’ve had some knockdown dragout fights over it. But in truth, at the end, I will tell you that my husband does step back at the final and looks at it, and probably 75 percent of the time has said it actually does look good after all.
Justin:
Yeah, maybe 50 percent
Ann:
Of the time, but OK, like, oh, for example, the pallet fence that surrounds my garden, he did not want to do that.
Justin:
No, I didn’t.
Ann:
But how does it look?
Justin:
Well, it’s OK.
Ann:
Yeah, how do my little what do you call those things where the Kiwi is pergola the pergola? How does that look?
Justin:
I didn’t actually have a problem with the pergola.
Ann:
Ok, OK. Ok, we’ll pause on that one. So obviously, in the time that we lived here, Justin’s goal was just to live quietly, not have the prying eyes and ears of the neighbors, and we’ve really worked hard on transforming the property into something really quite sustainable. And it’s really weird. As the years go by it, it has grown and it’s grown quite a bit.
This year, we’re actually talking about adding pigs, not for year-round use, but for feeder pigs basically in and out. We’re partnering with a neighbor with that. We just realized we do have the coyotes that have come back. You know, when you think about that, you know, in those time frame of just knowing what we wanted to do, did you really stop and think that we would one day be adding feeders or pigs, milking goats and rabbits for meat and.
And as Justin says, he hates it when I run the meat chickens on the front yard grass because it’s luscious and delicious for them. He hates that. But did you think at that point that we were going to be doing something like this?
Justin:
I kind of saw it after the 15 chickens turned into 50 chickens, and beyond that, I wasn’t surprised. Put it that way.
Ann:
But it does surprise you. I still go surprised. We brought this onto the property. Nothing surprises me anymore. Ok, that’s good to know. Because guess what? Surprise. Just joking. Ok. The second thing I wanted to talk about real quick is what do you think the most difficult aspect of living the life we live really is?
Working Fulll-time and Homesteading
Justin:
It’s like having two full-time jobs, really. You know, I work 40-plus hours a week doing my construction and then to come home and, you know, typically work every weekend and most evenings. That’s probably the most difficult thing.
Ann:
And that’s the trend that we’re seeing with the homesteading community right now is that most people will say that they can’t homestead because they’re both working or whatever the case is. And you know, I know that Justin works a lot and he does do a lot on the weekend, but I really want you to stop and think about the exhaustion of it all just to be able to achieve a goal, to be able to live sustainably, independently and free from a corrupt food source and someone telling you what to do with your property.
You know, regardless of wherever you live, you can homestead. You just have to do it within the guidelines and rules. And some of the rules are stupid and they suck. However, you know, Justin does it. There are days that he’s cranky, you know, he’s tired and he doesn’t want to do it, and that’s totally fine and I get it. But it’s a movement that we have to keep moving forward with because as I say, there’s only so much time in a day you can learn the skill that you need in order to be independent.
You know, for him, he goes out there every single night, he puts the animals away, he feeds the rabbits and you know, and then on the weekend we have the dump run projects, a deck to put in right
Justin:
To clean up the clean gutters, fences to build. Oh, yeah,
Ann:
Yeah, absolutely. We’re getting ready to fence in a section of the lower lot for the goats to move and clear another section. And you know, it costs money. So, you know, even though Justin works outside the home, I work in the home and I’m lucky to be able to work on my brand. However, you know, it is one of those things that as Justin’s putting away the animals, I’m usually still working.
So we’ve learned to balance it with a trade-off of just knowing that. And I tell him this all the time, you know, you have to sow, you reap almost in a sense. So on the days that he’s grumpy and tired, I kind of just I’m always like, you know, it takes work to eat that chicken that we just raised. It takes work to eat those eggs.
It takes work to be able to grow in the garden and it takes work to do it all. You know, it’s work. It is work. But there’s an angle, right? There’s an end goal to have him retire at fifty-five and then for us to move and find our forever property. But we’ll talk about that one in a minute. So. So basically, you’re just tired now, you’re just tired.
Ann:
And that’s what it boils down to very much. Always, yes. And that is normal. That is normal when you have a spouse that you rely on to help you out with the property to be that way. Now I do know. Let me let me say this real quick. I do know individuals that actually only one partner homesteads full time and the other partner works, and there’s no exchange of partnerships. Well, that’s not our marriage.
Our marriage is there’s an exchange of partnerships in there. But I do have a couple of friends that actually homestead. I would say probably 98 percent of the time independently, and the rest of it is done. You know, their spouse that works full-time may help on occasion and whatnot, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Our marriage is a little different. And I do truly expect and enjoy Justin and appreciate Justin’s help on the property. So keep that in mind.
Next question is going to be a little candid on this one. What do you think the most challenging? And be nice with your answer. What do you think is the most challenging aspect of homesteading with an individual who has, like all these thoughts and drive to want more?
Homesteading With an Ambitious Spouse
Justin:
We’re talking about some individual or yourself?
Ann:
I felt myself OK myself. So what? What do you think? The most challenging aspect is because I I won’t lie. I throw at him every weekend. We need you ABCDEFG, and we have to get it done today. And he’s like, No, I mean, he’ll flat out tell you. He will tell me, No, that’s not going to happen, and we will get into an argument about it. And well I’ll say this is the reason why it needs to happen. And sometimes he’s on board and sometimes he’s not. But for you.
And this is, you know, and I want to say this because again, homesteading is really about two people. And you know, whether or not your spouse participates in it with you or not, you need to have them on board with your goals, right?
I mean, Justin may not want to do it, but I think he’s do you see an end goal? Do you see the end goal for what I’m trying to achieve in a project or a task on hand? Do you think I build structures just to build them and keep them vacant? Or do you or do you think I expand the garden because I know we could put more in there? Okay.
Justin:
Well, you say, do I believe these things are expanding, but I’m the one that actually builds some expense.
Ann:
Yes, and I design them.
Justin:
Yeah, well, you throw out a bunch of words and thoughts and then I try to put it together. And then when it doesn’t work, I end up tearing it apart and doing it again.
Ann:
Right?
Justin:
And I mean, to answer your question, that is one of the most challenging things is just biting my tongue, which I don’t do very well.
Ann:
No doubt that he speaks his mind quite well. Justin isn’t a man of many words, but when it comes down to. You didn’t say this to me and I say, you didn’t listen to me. So it’s a marriage. You know what? It’s not we fight, especially when it comes to construction. Oh my gosh. I think that’s our biggest.
Justin:
I think our biggest fights have been over our visions of how things should be built, right?
Ann:
Remember, justin is a carpenter. So if you don’t lay it out for him, especially with new material, it’s like, I’m like, Here, take this and he goes, It’s too short. No, no, no. It’ll work. All you got to do is frame it this way, and this is how it’s going to be done. So, so that’s the most challenging, we think. Is construction construction with you?
Justin:
Yeah, that’s definitely been our biggest blow-ups. I mean, oh yeah. I mean, we always have different visions. Other things as far as. The amount of animals or how big the garden needs to be or things like that, but I can usually adapt to that, but then you’re yeah, you’re kind of invading on my thing when you don’t like the way, well, I have built something.
Ann:
Oh my gosh, I never thought about it like that. Wow, that’s an awakening. I’m invading on your thing when because of a construction thing. Yeah, OK.
Justin:
No, I get it now. I don’t. I don’t tell you how to grow your tomatoes.
Ann:
Yeah, that’s true. That is true. You don’t tell them. So, you know, and that’s the thing. That’s the that’s the thing about Justin is if I sit there and I’m in the garden, I’m like, I need to get this or this. Oh, like, we have three new beds. We’ve got to reconstruct because there were original beds and we do everything and raised beds for two folds is our we have land erosion here on the mountainside quite heavily.
We have underground springs, the rock material in our soil. I mean, it would take us years to be able to get through the rock and sift through it. But then by the time we did that, our land would have eroded and the garden would be of no more again. So we choose to do everything and raised beds, and our original three raised beds need to be redone this year.
So when I went to him and I was like, OK, these three beds need to be redone before the Spring Garden goes in. All he said was, OK, what do you want? And I told him, and now he’s like, I got it. And so it’s one of those things, but a structure, oh my gosh, a structure, and we could be knocked down. Throw in things and I’m like, just drop it. And he’s like, Well, I’m not doing it anymore. Then and then we got a standstill for like maybe a day or two at that point or a week sometimes before we move on with that project again.
It’s difficult. I am very like, you know, the one thing that justin won’t say about me is I don’t want it that way. I don’t want it that way. And she’s demanding. I do. I like things the way that I’m going to do them, and that is true.
Justin:
But think that, by the way, well, no. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to be demanding. You have high expectations. Let me put it that way.
Sharing Visions with Each Other
Ann:
Oh, that’s a good thing. Okay, that’s good. That’s good. Ok, so so with that said, so basically, construction is our downfall, huh? It’s our downfall because it is true when it comes to the livestock and bringing on the livestock with a garden or the preserving or anything like that. It’s never really a topic, you know what I mean?
Dropping trees as a topic. Dropping trees is a topic for us because it is extensive work and he has to have someone here with them or I prefer him always to have someone here with them when he’s doing it. But this is the year for dropping trees for us too.
We’ve got to create berms for the mountainside of the goats are actually chewing down. We’ve got to create a beam, you know, on the other side of the property as well, too. So, you know, it’s one of those things. I have this vision. Let me tell you what my vision is. Hold on one second here. So it’s hard for an individual that’s here twenty-four, seven, and I am here all the time, I work from home, I’m here with the kids, I’m here on the property all the time.
I do leave a couple of times out of the week to go run errands and whatnot. And Justin is here is gone 40 to 50 hours a week, depending on the week and what’s going on at work. And so my vision isn’t something he sees because it’s not something he thinks about on a regular basis.
Justin:
That’s true, and I don’t think about the fact that you are here all the time and you’re constantly thinking about what needs to happen.
Ann:
Like, I can look at a tree and go, I need that tree dropped. And he’s like, But why? Why do we have to drop that tree? And then it’s like, I’ve already thought about why. And then to me, it’s like, OK, now I have to explain to him why and convince him why.
Justin:
It’s because in July and at three o’clock in the afternoon, the tomatoes need sun and that tree right there is the one that’s blocking it.
Ann:
Oh my god. Yes, absolutely.
Justin:
See, I’ve learned.
Ann:
Ok, so oh my God, that’s a good point. Ok, so it’s hard, right? It is hard to really do that. So my vision is based on being here all the time, being here, all the time walking the property. You know, my friend Amy is like, What takes you so long out there on the property because I walk the property?
If it is not raining here during the winter months, I walk our property. I stop and look from the top of the highest point that our property runs to the lowest point and go, Oh my gosh, I want to reclaim that area of land at the Blackberries. Hey, Chuck, I want to run my chickens here. I want to run this goat over there. I want to incorporate new kids for a milk line, for cheese and to make soaps and things like that. I want, yeah…
Justin:
How do we do that?
Ann:
We’ll talk about that. But anyways, the point of it is, is that, you know, when you are here full-time, you do tend to have a different vision than your partner or your spouse. That’s here. You know, during the nighttime hours, basically, you know, he doesn’t see what I see on a regular basis.
And I think that with marriage, I think that’s important to understand and explain to the partner who is not here all the time why there’s like an attitude of chores that need to be done and tasks on hand. And honestly, with Justin, if I give him advance notice of what needs to be done like a months clip shot of something, he does his best to work through that list. But you know, there are some things that just don’t get done and I have to pick and choose my battles and I’ve realized that and sometimes my battles are still pretty big. But. Sometimes I wish you would put his phone down to.
Justin:
There’s people on the internet that are wrong and they need to know it.
Ann:
So anyways that if he put his phone down, it’s more or less will be done, probably in a month’s time frame.
Justin:
I’ve gotten better about it because I just listen to podcasts all the time.
Ann:
Oh yes, now he’s gotten really good. Now he’s switched to podcast that he listens to all the time. So I’m really, really appreciative of that,
Justin:
Especially this one.
Ann:
Ok. Oh, thanks, Ben. Anyways. Ok, so the most challenging aspect, I think, for our marriage, our marriage and I can’t talk about yours is, is that being here all the time and seeing the ultimate vision and the things that need to be done is different than Justin, who comes home at night and doesn’t see it throughout the day, you know, and only sees it in two days. Quick clip And then all of a sudden, I’m loading him with chores.
Justin:
Yes, basically.
Ann:
All right. Let’s go on to our last question here. I hope he’s talked enough for you. You don’t feel like I have. I think, well, Justin is a man of very few words, so
Justin:
I feel like I’ve talked more now than I have in the last probably five days.
Plans for the Future
Ann:
It’s probably true. So what we want to do with this new homestead isn’t necessarily much different than what we’re doing now is going to be the two of us. You know, we’ll have kids come home, Giovanni and Lola will come home from college, and things like that. Maile will forever stay here. My son Taylor will be moving to his forever once he finishes the fireman academy, and Jared and Mackenzie will be here. We don’t know where Joshua and Jacob will end up, but the point of it is, is that for us, we know that it will basically be the two of us. So, you know, Justin has decided that you want to do you want to tell them what you want to incorporate onto the property?
Justin:
Um, an area to ride motorcycles and shoot guns.
Ann:
And what kind of livestock would you like? Oh, right, right.
Justin:
Well, I want cattle for beef.
Ann:
Not a big, hard job.
Justin:
I don’t know just enough to keep us supplied and maybe sell. So to recuperate some costs. But I mean, that’s my main thing. I would like some cows. I would like horses. I grew up riding horses, you know, in in Texas and. And I think probably the pigs would be more realistic after we move.
Ann:
I don’t think so. I don’t think so. He won’t say that when he has his first cut of bacon from our own pig. So basically, horses and cattle were a surprise to me when Justin said that he wanted to incorporate those animals. Like, I was like, Really? You were saying you want more livestock when you are feeling challenged with the ones that we have.
Justin:
But after I’m retired and this becomes my only full time job and a lot easier.
Ann:
Yeah, that’s a good point. That’s a good point. Say it like that. I outside what we already raised the geese, the ducks. The chickens will always have guineas because they’re just the best alarm system ever. And I have to make a decision for myself as to whether or not I want to incorporate a dairy cow or continue with dairy goats. I have not quite made that decision yet. So that’ll be something that I will decide closer to when we are ready to sell, because that will depend on the barn size and whatnot as well, too.
And my new livestock animal is sheep like, oh yeah, cheap sheep. Is it for me? And not necessarily worth the fiber like my friends do, but because I think sheep as a source of meat is really necessary and then to the meat? Yeah, but then to be able to sell off the fiber as they’re sheared, you know, it’s just twofold in something in tuples and what I’ll be able to get out from it sheep is is definitely a necessity for me.
So we have actually will be transitioning into a full-fledged farm, not a selling material kind of farm, but just a farm that’s going to be sustainable for us, as it was for our forefathers before us. The garden will always still be there, of course, and preserving will always be there. But then it will be such on a small scale for us because it’s just us. It’s just
Justin:
Right. Yeah, we will only need one freezer instead of three.
Ann:
Yes, that is true. That will be, oh, I don’t know. We’ve always have a lot of meat. But anyways, so so you know, there are end goals. There are things that we want to do and we want to get there. But the point of this whole podcast was is that. There are difficulties in a marriage, there’s no perfect marriage, there is going to be arguments about structures and livestock and whatnot, and I think it’s key that you have to find your working group for that. Ok, so that was a quick intro for my darling husband, Justin, and he has actually said that he would like to do a little bit more podcasts with me because he wants me to continue doing them.
He finds it entertaining for me, but you know, will he be here? Everything? So probably not. I’d like to have him on at least twice a month recapping of what’s happening on the property or just to give you guys some tips and tricks about working with your spouse. Because, like I said, we’ve had some drawn out nasty arguments and fights about things. And, you know, but the fact of the matter is, is that I do rely on Justin to Homestead with me, and I do rely on him to help me out and doing things. I mean, is it necessarily everything that can be done and achievable immediately? No. And I have to remind myself that of all the time, he’s a very patient man until I push him too far. What do you think
Justin:
She does push.
Ann:
But what I’m trying to show in this podcast is to find your happy medium with your working partner and your husband or your wife, and to just say that things do get done, not necessarily the time that you really want them to be done, but you should always remember that it’s a list of things to do. And if you provide a list for your spouse for that month that needs to be done, it does make it easier for them to see the big picture that you get to see being on the property all the time.
And if both of you guys work, you need to really figure out a routine that’s going to work for you guys on what you can accomplish and what can get done in a timely manner for yourselves. You know, this was quite entertaining for a lot of you guys because I think this is the first time you guys have actually got to hear Justin. But I, you know, I want you to know that he is an active partner for me.
He has always been a silent partner at some point. He edits my work at some points. He’s digging trenches for me. At some points, he’s constructing or helping me harvest the garden. In that moment in time, he does help me cook on the days that I need to finish up a project. He cooks dinner and willingly does. So I find that one individual, and if you have him, be fair in what you need to accomplish. But that’s it. That’s all we have.
Anything else you want to add?
Justin:
Thanks for having me. I really enjoyed it, really.
Ann:
We started off bickering about what we were going to do. So that’s why I’m a little shocked. And he’s like, He enjoyed it. I think this will be a nice icebreaker for him. So he didn’t know what he was going to get into when he came on here because I can be demanding and I told him he had to be very well behaved.
Justin:
I guess I just didn’t know if I could hold my tongue. Yes. Not really. I love my wife and I enjoy this life with her.
Ann:
Oh, you’re the best man. I did not pay him to say that, by the way. He did say that willingly on his own. All right, you guys. That’s all we have. And when you when Justin does come on, it is going to be more of a marital. How to work with your partner. I mean, there are failures in our marriage, not major failures, but communication errors that we have that we both are working on.
Pick pickups in our marriage that we are both working on to to better it because in truth, it is going to be the only the two of us here shortly. And in order to make a property run with just two people, the way that we do, we have to be able to communicate and we understand that with each other.
So anybody got any good properties out there that we should look at or state their locations? You can email me or leave a comment on this podcast. Do whatever you need to do. Ok, guys, I’ll talk to you next week. Bye bye.